It’s not really about 100…

For me this project has been not about the 100 goal (though it does feel good to have discipline about something, proof that I can have dilligence and commitment to something…)

Rather- it’s been the self-awareness that comes from each piece.  letting go of each piece, yet reflecting on each one after it’s sent off.

These most recent pieces have been a reminder of this because I have  been in debate about posting them here.  I do not like them.  They don’t make sense, and I feel weird having them be the ones showing the “I made it to 100!” post. (see how much judgement I have!)

Which brings me to the fact that it’s important to post them.  They are a brutal reminder that I am lacking balance (lately).  I started $working$ again and suddenly the things that really make me feel like me seem to lose importance.  Yoga, creative outlets, doggy, friends.

I want to know when I can be working and supporting myself the way I must, but also be in balance with the things that really feel like me?

SO- I post these pieces as a reminder of the importance of creating, even when my creative energy is being squandered by the stress of working life.  In time, with practice, the two will be in tandem.  I believe.

Thank you friends for this project.  There’s always multiples of 100.

#98

#99

#100

#101

#102

#103

#104

#105 “i just might write you a poem,but i wont send it to you”

i’m still here! [forty-two~fifty-eight]

here are the rest of the postcards that were completed, scanned, and mailed before my long long hiatus.  everything i post after this is new!  looking forward to finishing my way to 100… i may not send a postcard every day, but i WILL get to 100.  i am sure of it.

here’s 42-58! over halfway there!!

day 42

day 43

day 44

day 45

day 46

day 47

day 48

day 49

day 50

day 51

day 52

day 53

day 54

day 55

day 56

day 57

day 58

way back when… [twenty~forty-one]

remember when i was doing a postcard project? i would make one per day and mail them out… each was different and handmade… i can’t believe we started that project almost a year ago.  so so much has happened since then… and i could go on with excuses, both good ones and not-so-good ones for why i stopped making and sending postcards and stopped posting to the blog… truth is, my box of postcard supplies still sits next to the bed.  i still have tons of index cards waiting to be used and many photos printed and ready to be rubber-cemented to handwritten notes to new and old friends.  i even sent some postcards during my hiatus… although, i considered them “unofficial” and never numbered or scanned them.  today marks my first day numbering a postcard again… what number did i write on that postcard? #59.  wait so…. what happened to 20 through 58?? they were sent… and scanned… they just never made it out of my computer.  until today!  (keep reading…)

on my desktop, sits a list… of people who received postcards… and many more who WILL receive postcards.  i don’t expect that the people on that list even remember that i was ever doing this project or that i ever promised them a postcard.  on my end, i never ever planned to not continue.  the reason that list still sits on my desktop amidst reminders upon reminders of things yet to be done is that i always planned to continue… and i still do… however long it takes me… i’m determined!!

so, without further ado, here’s #s 20 through 41!

day 20

day 21

day 23 (find 22 in a previous post)

day 24

day 25

day 26

day 27

day 28

day 29

day 30

day 31

day 32

day 33

day 34

day 35

day 36

day 37

day 38

day 39

day 40

day 41

AMAAAAAZING

This is so awesome!!!

I had heard about this place for their awesome low-key dancing vibe with good music.

Then it turns out they have an awesome art night on mondays complete with a great DJ.  Check out SOMAR‘s event ARTGASMS! I am hoping to make it a regular thing and get a whole crew to come chill and make art for several hours.  OH yea!  They have live models, hence my silly attempt at figure drawing again….

I feel like I am gonna need that space to keep up with the creating….  my head is spinning after many reunions with the folks I hardly get to see but that have had lots of impact on my thoughts and interests AKA who I am/who I think i am.

I guess having a lot on your mind helps inspire too!  Or just sitting in the sun and painting with my 12 yr old cousin!

#83

#84

#85

#86

#87

#88

#89

#90

THANKS PALOMA FOR LETTING ME USE YOUR ART SUPPLIES! SINCE I FORGOT MY PAINTS THAT DAY:

#91

#92

#93

#94

DJ Malachi of Luv Luv Radio IS AMAZING:

#95

#96

#97

Been creating, been inspired.

Tags: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=142680245789196&index=1

The evolution over 80

Multiples of ten to demonstrate the evolution of this project.

With patience in the process, and practice, a lot can be achieved in a relatively short amount of time.

Change is possible, but fear of challenge, and lack of patience in the process make it very difficult.  Looking back over these cards I can see how I struggle with this….  Nice to reflect back.

Postcards 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, and 80 below.  what a strange 6 months it has been!  Thank you postcards for being there!

Creative flow

It feels like it has been a long time since I have worked on this project.

There has been a break in my creative flow.  At first my reaction to that was to feel really frustrated and force myself to write/draw (as you will see by the caliber of cards this time around… wait what did i say in former posts about judgement?)

But instead of getting caught up in that frustration -that I have not been inspired, or frustration because I am embarassed to post some of these cards because I think they are “bad”-; I am trying to take note on what has been going on over the time period of midNov to midJan.

It seems like that is a time that rocks peoples flow in general, so it makes a lot of sense.  Similarly- if i REALLY think about how I have been feeling during that time, it makes TOTAL sense that my creativity was affected.

These cards reflect how I have been coping with everything that is going on.  So right now it’s a nice reminder that I need to refocus, and think about my goals right now.  Anything can be a teacher.

This sunshine has been helping, reminding me, “I am where I need to be” as “yoginiforshanti“    always tells me.

On monday with the sun I hiked to Black Mountain from Hidden Villa, 12 miles of being at a place that is sooo grounding for me.  I encourage you to start this year off that way.  take time to do something that grounds you, be people, place, food or an activity that does it for you.  You are the most important thing in your life.

Hopefully starting the year this way will help me revisit a creative flow during times of frustration or distraction.

Happy New Year!

Cards:

#59 front and back

59back:

#69

#71

#72

#74

#75

#76

#77

#78

#79

#80

#81

#82

#84

Music can inspire creative flow- enjoy!

Tags: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hVp47f5YZg, http://yogini4shanti.wordpress.com/

look back, find something new, take time to reflect

hard to believe it’s been some-odd 6 mths…  take time to reflect on the patterns of your life, i am thinking about the lulls and creative spurts I have had these past 6 mths… as we move into a new year, what will the next year bring?  6 mths of creative development amidst a bit of struggle…

anyway, I enjoyed reading this article.  It made me think back to the experience of making the watercolor below.  so i thought i would share!

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2576?utm_source=Wisdom&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=Wisdom

competition, art as an olympic sport?

What is liberating about this project?

Letting go of competition!  I think it starts with the self.

At a dinner party I met someone who went to school for fashion design, loved her schooling, loves fashion design…. but now she works in a totally unrelated field.  Part of the problem was the initimidation of competition.  Now working, she says she has not even looked in her sewing machine’s general direction… not even to do a simple hem on a jean!  To go from making her own clothes to being completely separated and distanced from her passion.

So I wonder what will happen when I start filling my schedule with the things i am supposed to?  In this culture that is competitive, does not value or foster creativity most of the time (unless you are an Artist with a stamp of approval)…. will I still keep up with this?

Now things come into our lives for a reason, just like people.  So it is possible I will not need it anymore…. but, I think creativity (I have my personal definition for this…) is something highly needed for me to feel whole, healthy, and like myself….

it hurts my heart a little that developing a creative sense of self is not more valued… and that so many people I talk to speak with sorrow about the art they lost in their lives….

How many people that have become famous doing art that they love were letting go of judgement and just doing regardless of where their art took them?

there goes that ego creeping in again.

Okay enough of my rambling.

anyway, thanks friends for inspiring this project!

here is the latest

58

60

61

62

63

64

65

66

67

68

70

plays with watercolor

My days definitely consist of way too much work on the computer.  So it is really nice to have something motivating me to create “work” that gets me off the screen.

I am wondering whether to continue posting the “postcards” here or not.  I enjoy the mystery of putting myself out there and not knowing what affect it has on others.  Most of my cards go out, and I do not know what the recipient thinks of it, how their day was affected by getting my little piece of mail… mystery! intrigue! drama! chaos!

i similarly wonder if any strangers come across our little blog.  I am not one who knows how to find random blogs myself, so sometimes it’s nice to ponder what a stranger makes of this one.

anyway, the rain has been giving more indoor time (fitting to start experimenting with watercolor) so here are a few more:

#52

#53

#54

since 54 is mostly words, here is the text:

“shared a smile with a stranger as he crossed the street in front of me.  He walking a bike with neon pink bike tape but my smile reflected the dog peeking from the bike basket.  The man wearing chef pants-maybe he shared my love for cooking- (my current coping outlet)- more likely the pants, unmatched, were found and free.

I have been getting lost, taking wrong turns to new streets.  I feel so disconnected from this place I can’t get grounded.

Found my way back and passed a man in nurse’s scrubs.  He carried the saddest face as he continued walking.

I keep driving, I share these emotions with strangers.

I should be home and able to share these feelings with those I know.

Instead I am lost.”

#55

#56

#57

passed 50!

it has been very liberating to completely let go of my judgements of my work in such a literal way.  there have been pieces that i really do not like- but still i send them off in the mail!

i am retraining this part of my brain and these muscles in my hand…. SOO there is no point in judging.  the creative intent is there!

with practice something keeps flowing.

i can’t do yoga right now, so this is the next best thing to the ego check i appreciate from yoga.  there is a home and safety on the mat that i can find in the quiet (or loud depending if i blast music!) of also just putting thoughts to a small piece of paper.

thank you friends for inspiring this idea- and letting me get back in touch with creativity!

enjoy:

#44

#46

#47

#48 front/back

#49 front and back

 

#50

#51

 

then i treated myself to a trip to the art store!~ i said hey!  you are keeping with this!  so you get to start experimenting with watercolor….

so those are coming up!